T
hree months after the Reform Movement’s rabbinical
organization, the Central Conference of American
Rabbis, voted to allow its members to officiate at same sex
marriage and commitment ceremonies, my husband Frank
and I were united under a
chupah
in the sanctuary of our
home synagogue, Temple Israel in Boston. The ceremony,
which was led by Rabbi Bernard Mehlman, Lecturer in
Midrash and Homiletics at HUC-JIR and the temple’s rabbi
emeritus, included traditional elements: the exchange of
rings, the Seven Blessings, and the breaking of a glass.
But the relative novelty of a Jewish same sex marriage
ceremony reinforced my lingering uncertainty about
the role of normative authority in the dynamic process
of ritual innovation and prevented me from uttering the
traditional formula as I slipped the gold band onto Frank’s
finger. Instead, Frank and I substituted verses about love
and betrothal from the biblical books of
Ruth
and
Hosea
.
We were married in the eyes of our rabbi, our families,
and our friends. But were we truly betrothed “according
to the Law of Moses and Israel?”
Twelve years later I doubt that
I would have the same qualms.
While it is true that there is
still no consensus within
Judaism about the legitimacy
of religiously sanctioned same
sex marriage, the tide has
definitively turned. From
the vantage point of 2012,
one can clearly see the
mainstreaming of LGBTQI
Jews as a forty-year odyssey, in which the Reform Move-
ment often played a pioneering role in fostering change.
The movement for gay and lesbian equality within Judaism
began in 1972 when a group of Jews in Los Angeles were
inspired by the example of the gay-affirming Metropolitan
Community Church and founded the first gay synagogue,
Metropolitan Community Temple. Appropriately renamed
Beth Chayim Chadashim, the House of New Life, the
synagogue was accepted for membership by the Reform
Movement’s congregational arm, known today as the
Union for Reform Judaism, in 1974. The Union’s action,
which at that time was viewed as revolutionary, was pro-
pelled by the inclusive vision of Judaism elaborated by its
president, Rabbi Alexander Schindler. At a time when
many feared that the mainstreaming of gays and lesbians
would erode boundaries and dilute Judaism, Schindler
called on Reform Jews to “cross those boundaries of Other-
ness, those fringed boundaries where compassion gives
way to identification.” Subsequent resolutions opposing
anti-gay discrimination, supporting gay civil rights, and
urging the inclusion of gays and lesbians in congregational
life and lay leadership were passed by the Reform Move-
ment’s rabbinical and congregational arms, culminating
with the decision to ordain gays and lesbians (1990) and
the endorsement of rabbinical officiation at same sex union
ceremonies (2000). The centrist Conservative Movement,
following the lead of Reform, sanctioned the ordination of
gays and lesbians in 2006 and established rituals for same
sex marriage ceremonies in 2012.
While the Reform Movement has been at the forefront
of change within Judaism, progress on gay rights and
inclusion did not come without a struggle. The Move-
ment’s evolution from a position of tolerance to one of
acceptance occurred only when pity gave way to under-
standing. “Something more than a grasp of the mind is
required,” Alexander Schindler declared in 1989. “There
is a need for a grasp of the heart.” As Schindler understood,
complete acceptance was only possible when gay visibility
facilitated personal connections, when congregants were
able to recognize LGBTQI people not as a remote op-
pressed minority but as relatives, friends, co-workers,
and fellow congregants.
Given the significance of the question of boundaries in
the Reform Movement’s evolving position on LGBTQI
inclusion, it is appropriate that many of the artists featured
in
The Sexuality Spectrum
play with definitions of Other-
ness in their work. It is precisely the transformation of gay
and lesbian Jews from outsiders to insiders in the non-
Orthodox Jewish world that allows me to feel affirmed
in my synagogue and Jewish community as an individual,
a husband, and a parent; to feel today, in 2012, that
“
according to the law of Moses and Israel” is descriptive
and not merely aspirational.
| 12
From Tolerance to Acceptance
Jonathan Krasner, Ph.D.,
Associate Professor of the American Jewish Experience, HUC-JIR/New York
Heddy Abramowitz
Jerusalem is Proud
and Liberated
, 2012
Photograph
16"
x 20"
