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Blog #1: First Blog
September, 2009
Fishbein - SSM Friends & Colleagues
Rosh Hashanah is literally right around the corner. 10 days from right now, I will be standing on the bimah of my student congregation in York, Pennsylvania, singing my heart out and leading my new congregation in their High Holy Day prayer. I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't a little overwhelmed with the amount of work required to create smooth and meaningful High Holy Day services for everyone involved–just making the music binders for myself and my organist was a huge task (which, Baruch Hashem, is finally finished!) However, with all of the hustle and bustle of High Holy Day prep and the beginning of the school year, I am trying to set aside time for my own heshbon hanefesh, a time of daily introspection and reflection of my deeds from this past year.
In keeping with the process of reflection, I find it important to fill you in on the hows and whys of what brought me to HUC. My name is Tracy Fishbein, and I am a 3rd year cantorial student from St Louis, Missouri. I've been singing as long as I can remember, and found my home in the synagogue at an early age. Though I actively participated in BBYO and NFTY throughout high school, it was the melodies of the cantor that drew me into the synagogue week after week. Upon realizing my vocal talents, my cantor quickly took me under her wing and taught me the melodies of Ben Steinberg and Max Janowski that she loved so much. After just a short while, I was totally hooked on Jewish music. Even as I studied for my Bachelors degree in music education at the University of Missouri, I knew that my ultimate goal was to pursue my passion at HUC's School of Sacred Music. Upon graduation from college, I spent a year and a half improving my Hebrew skills before hopping a plane to Israel to begin the crazy ride that is cantorial school. 3 years later, here I am–happily attending HUC, teaching B'nai Mitzvah in NYC, and serving my student congregation. As hectic and busy as my life is right now, I know I'm in the right place doing exactly what I was meant to be doing. I'm not going to lie--it's pretty much the best feeling ever!
Fishbein - Aliayah for 2nd yr students
When I was pondering how to begin this blog, my mind kept jumping back to the idea of heshbon hanefesh. The beginning of the 3rd year seems to correspond so appropriately to the month of Elul and the process of reflection. As a 3rd year student, I am smack dab in the middle of my education at HUC–I am no longer new to HUC, yet I am nowhere near the end of my classroom education. That realization allows me to reflect upon the beginnings of my time as a cantorial student: the mistakes that I've learned from, the successes I've celebrated, the sacrifices I've had to make, and the tremendous amount of academic and spiritual growth I've experienced in the last 2+ years. It's exciting to think about where I've been and where I'm going, and to know that my growth is only going to continue from this moment forward. Day after day I realize that my experiences–good and bad–will make me the cantor I will become upon that magical day of investiture in 2012.
As I look back upon the last few years, I become more and more grateful for the opportunity to be here studying my passion and working to make my professional dreams come true. May all of us have the strength and patience to learn from the events of 5769 (and years past) and grow into the people we want to be in 5770.
I look forward to sharing the events of my 3rd year with all of you, and I wish you l'shana tovah u'metukah!
Posted by Tracy at 9:53 AM
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Blog #2: October Blog
October, 2009
Ready to rock the chapel during my Erev Rosh Hashanah practicum
Without a doubt, my favorite day of the school week is Wednesday. On Wednesdays, I am immersed in great Jewish music from the time I arrive at school until the moment I leave. Seldom does a Wednesday go by where I am not inspired by the melodies and ideas of famous Jewish composers or my classmates and professors.
My Wednesdays begin with a class on the music of Debbie Friedman. The best part: Debbie Friedman TEACHES the class. Most of you who read this know who she is and how she has changed the face of Jewish music as we know it. Her repertoire is huge--so much bigger than I ever realized--and the point of this particular class is to go through some of her lesser known music in hopes that we can share it with our congregations. As we learn the pieces, we also hear her personal stories of how and why she wrote them, along with suggestions on ways we can utilize the melodies both on and off the bimah. It is a very fun, relaxing way to begin the day, and our small class size (8 people!) allows for beautifully intimate conversations about God, Torah, liturgy and Judaism.
Then, it's time for student practica. Every year, SSM students are required to give at least one 20-25 minute musical presentation in front of the entire SSM student body and faculty. These presentations are usually taken from the context of a service, be it Shabbat, High Holy Day, other festival, or weekday. Sometimes, the presentations are in the form of a concert, focusing on a period or composer of Jewish music. Afterwards, the students and faculty gather for a bagel lunch and discussion about that days presentation(s). This year's round of practica began with our third year class, and--if I may say so myself--we all did a wonderful job!
After the lunchtime practicum discussion, we move onto our Traditional High Holy Day workshop with Cantor Jack Mendelson. Cantor Mendelson's preferred method of teaching is as follows: open the siddur, follow along as he sings for you, sing it yourself, and repeat it over and over again until you understand and correctly sing the notes and cantorial nuances of the music and text. Week after week, I am amazed at how quickly we all pick up not only the melodies, but Cantor Mendelson's style of chazzanut. The best part of class? Cantor Mendelson's stories and impersonations of his teachers–we spend a lot of time just listening and laughing with him as he shares a lifetime of experiences with us.
The thing I love most about my Wednesdays is that I am either singing or listening to music all day long. I begin the day with contemporary tunes and end with melodies of our tradition, and the two usually merge in the middle of the day with student practica. I am seeing more and more how even present-day composers use the modes and nuances of traditional melodies in creating pieces that are singable for a congregation. The space between both ends of the Jewish music spectrum is not nearly as big as one might imagine, and it's absolutely possible to use a little bit of everything to create a cohesive and lovely prayer experience.
Posted by Tracy at 9:40 AM
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Blog #3: November Blog
November, 2009
Twice a year, HUC students and faculty open their classroom and synagogue doors to allow prospective students the chance to live a day in the life of an HUC student. The prospective students engage in special programming led by our Director of Admissions and my friend Jen, her rabbinical student assistant. The next day, after a meal and a comfy night's stay at a student host's apartment, the prospective student joins the HUC community for a full day of classes and t'fillah. This whirlwind of a day is a great opportunity to ask the millions of questions involved with making the decision to become a rabbi/cantor/educator, as well as conjure up a million MORE questions about the process itself.
As a cantorial student at HUC, I love talking to those interested in joining any of our programs. I'm fascinated by their stories and desires to become cantors, rabbis, or Jewish educators. I enjoy answering their questions and (hopefully) calming some of their fears about the idea of a 3 or 5-year program and a lifetime in a career full of emotional, intellectual, and spiritual challenges. Most of all, I love watching the faces of these prospective students as they hear an inspiring lecture, sing a beautiful piece of music, and join with the entire school for an hour of prayer at our daily Shacharit service.
For this last open house on October 25-26, I had the honor of leading t'fillah with my friend and rabbinical student colleague Marc. We worked together to create a service that would not only lift our spirits during Mar Cheshvan, but would also introduce the prospective students to the unique and beautiful prayer opportunities that take place within our HUC community. Throughout the service, I took a few moments to look at the faces of the prospective students surrounded by current students and faculty. Many of our guests had big smiles and excited eyes as they joined our community in the familiar and not-so-familiar melodies. A few seemed the slightest bit uncomfortable with praying in a new and different atmosphere. Some, worn out by their travels and busy night and day of programming, seemed relieved to take a few moments of quiet prayer time. Despite how these prospective students felt, there was a warm and positive energy flowing freely through the room that, not surprisingly, helped to lure some of them back into our classrooms, practica, and t'fillot throughout the rest of the week. It was wonderful to see such a vibrant and enthusiastic group of want-to-be rabbis, cantors and educators filling our halls and classrooms even after the open house had come to an end.
For anyone reading this who may be considering a career in the cantorate, rabbinate, or fields of Jewish education and/or Jewish communal service, I encourage you to join us for the next open house scheduled to take place March 21-22, 2010. If you're unable to join us during that time, you are always welcome to attend classes, t'fillah and practica on any day that suits your schedule.
Posted by Tracy at 1:40 PM
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Blog #4: December Blog
December, 2009
On Bimah before my first Shabbat with Congregation
As cantorial students at HUC, we are lucky to be given several opportunities to enrich our student and professional lives while we are in school. We work with amazing faculty members and teachers who satisfy our curiosity for so many things related to the field of Jewish music, and participate in events that we would never get to be a part of if we weren't HUC students. We are also able to collaborate with our rabbinical and Jewish education student peers in ways that the other campuses are not able (since the New York campus is the only stateside campus with the rabbinical, cantorial and Jewish education programs.) The opportunities for spiritual and academic growth are endless without even stepping foot outside the brown brick building at West 4th and Mercer.
However, I must say that my favorite part of my student career at this point has absolutely nothing to do with the inner workings of our building in downtown Manhattan. At the time this is being written, I am coming off of an intense 4 weekend stretch of visits to my congregation in York, Pennsylvania. I have spent the last 4 weekends enjoying the faces, voices, sights and spirits of my congregation in the land of the Pennsylvania Dutch. It was quite possibly the hardest I have ever had to work in the history of my cantorial school career; working 4 weekends in a row ultimately means working every single day for over a month without a day off. Right now, I am definitely enjoying some peace and quiet and catching up on some much needed sleep and TV-watching.
In TBI's beautiful light filled sanctuary
Despite the craziness and exhaustion, the last month has been a very cool experience for this cantor-in-training. Visiting with my congregation on a weekly basis allowed me to fully immerse myself in the life cycle of the congregation; in 4 visits, I co-led 3 B'nai Mitzvah, a Kristallnacht-themed Shabbat and a Thanksgiving-themed Shabbat, traveled to Baltimore to watch Chayim Topol play Tevye in Fiddler on the Roof, attended an important fundraiser for the Jewish Family Services of York, joyously celebrated a congregant's 85th birthday with fellow members of my congregation, purchased and began using my new guitar during religious school, and joined several families for meals in their homes or at fun area restaurants. By becoming so active in the life of my congregation, I was able to gain a profound sense of this community and who they are as people and as Jews. I was also able to work with my rabbinic mentor, Jeff, to create services that were meaningful and significant in ways appropriate to each moment, event or B'nai Mitzvah.
More than any of that, I was given the unique opportunity to teach new music to this congregation without actually teaching anything; we repeated several new melodies often throughout my visits, and by the end of the month, the congregants were comfortably singing along as though the melodies were the 'traditional' melodies everyone knows and loves. Worship services aside, it was also wonderful to be present weekly in the religious school. I feel as though the children of the congregation grew to know and trust me as we worked on fun Chanukah music. Over the course of the 4 weeks, I watched the kids grow more and more excited about singing the songs and discovering this aspect of Jewish culture that they had never been exposed to. The countless hugs I received from the students, along with the kids' excited shouts of "Cantor Fishbein's here!" as I walked into their classrooms helped to make the exhaustion-along with all of the preparation and planning-totally worthwhile.
Within these 4 visits, I feel as though I have transformed myself from a temporary visitor of the congregation to an important member of the clergy team. I can tell by talking to the congregants that they consider me The Cantor despite my status as a third year cantorial student. It's a fantastic feeling to know that I am becoming more and more included in the already established and ongoing "conversation" of this Jewish community, and that my congregants are satisfied with the work I am doing. More than anything, it is good to know that my congregation is beginning to know and trust me and the places I can take them musically. It's exciting to think about what the future holds for all of us as I continue my tenure with Temple Beth Israel.
Posted by Tracy at 11:10 AM
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Blog #5: January Blog
January, 2010
The SSM class2012 just after sharing our songs Tracy Elana Michelle Julia and Vicky
A couple of posts ago, I wrote to you about the wonderful Wednesday of classes we partook in during the fall semester. Our first class of the day, Beyond Mi Sheberach with Debbie Friedman, was absolutely a highlight of the semester for all of us. Over muffins and coffee, we would sing, play guitar, laugh, and work on our song leading and song writing abilities. There was no set syllabus for the class, which allowed us to focus on whatever we wanted or needed to learn; some of us were looking for the perfect sermon anthem, some of us had questions about particular pieces or guitar chords, some of us wanted to discuss the use of Debbie's songs within the contexts of services and pulpit work. Any topic of conversation was fair game, and we always walked out of the class humming a new tune or an old favorite that stayed with us throughout the rest of our days at school.
To celebrate the end of the semester, Debbie surprised us with some special guests and other wonderful treats. She invited widely-known Jewish singers and songwriters Peter and Ellen Allard, Julie Silver, and Merri Arian to join our class for our last morning together. All four of these musicians (along with Debbie herself) are celebrities in the Jewish world, so to join with them for a morning of music and stories was an exciting--if not a tiny bit surreal--experience. As we sang the morning away, we also learned the stories behind some of their songs, along with tips on how to further develop our own songwriting skills. We all left class that morning feeling uplifted and very inspired to write our own songs and share our love of Judaism through music.
Our celebration continued the next night at Debbie's apartment. She invited our entire class, along with our significant others, to join her for dinner at her beautiful pre-war apartment in the city. Dinner was delicious and festive, but the best part came towards the end of the evening as we gathered in Debbie's living room to debut the songs we had written as our final exam for the class. There were no set parameters for our assignment other than to create a new melody and set it to text; therefore, we were able to create music for whichever piece of liturgy, text, or poetry we felt musically drawn towards. For my assignment, I wrote a simple but pretty melody for Y'hiyu L'ratzon. As I taught the melody to the class, Debbie picked up her guitar and began to accompany me. The piece truly came alive in that moment as the melody and guitar seamlessly merged together into a complete musical moment. Singing my song with my class and experiencing my melody taken to such a high and beautiful level was one of the holiest and most special moments of my HUC career.
As we went around the room performing our songs for each other, I discovered a newfound respect for my friends and classmates. While we all know each other VERY well (being in a class of 5 people doesn't allow you to keep many secrets!) this was a side of everyone we had never seen before. Every melody from every classmate allowed us a glimpse into their soul, and sparked a curiosity for everything else that may be in there. Personally, hearing the songs of my classmates gave me the confidence to utilize my own song in my pulpit work, and inspired me to keep writing more and more music. That night, we all discovered that what Debbie loved to tell us all semester long was really true: "You all have it in you to write beautiful music...you all have it in you."
Posted by Tracy at 12:14 AM
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